Numbers Never Lie

Feelings and emotions might be fuzzy, but numbers are cut and dry. We often let our feelings and emotions lead us. We react to life even when times are great. But what if we took a moment to measure our true well-being by the numbers in our lives? 

Last week, I took my own advice and practiced self-care by slowing down and making space. While there, I finally had the room, time and clarity to make a shocking discovery. My weight was at an all-time high and my credit score was at an all-time low. Based on that data, I realized that it was due time to get back to ME. 

What do your numbers look like? For you, it might not be weight or credit score, but it might be your blood pressure, cholesterol level, blood sugar, hours reading, hours watching television, hours of work versus hours of play, hours of sleep, or time spent with family and your loved ones that matter to you most. One thing that I’ve learned in the business world is that when in doubt, check the numbers, because numbers never lie. Now I’ve come to learn that numbers also matter in your personal life as well, particularly when it comes to health, personal finances and even your relationships. 

This week I challenge you to identify which numbers in your life are out of balance. Once you do that, make the necessary adjustments to get back on track and back to you. Here are a few of the things that I did to give you some ideas… 

• Joined Curves for Women (again) with my Mom as my workout buddy for fitness and quality family time. 

• Today I’m going to buy a bicycle so I can go riding regularly with my best friend.

• I unsubscribed from several of the email lists that were filling up my inbox that I never had time to read. 

• I paid off some small debts that I had no other reason not to pay off other than just being too darn busy to sit down and do it. 

• I went on a grocery shopping spree and purchased enough fresh and healthy items to last me all week.

• I could go on and on, but those are just a few ideas to get you started. 

What will you do? 

Even when you are lying to yourself about the quality of your life, your numbers will tell you the truth.

Life is Like a Football Game - Monday Morning Motivation on the Monica Marie Jones Show

The Artist Date (Momentum for Your Muse Series Part 2)

Momentum for Your Muse Series Part 2 

This, Momentum for Your Muse series is designed for writers, but it can apply to any artist  or business person because creativity is a major ingredient that is necessary in all that we do.

 The Artist Date

 “How vain is it to sit down and write when you have not stood up to live.” – Henry David Thoreau

In the book, The Artist’s Way, the author, Julia Cameron suggests that once a week we take ourselves out on what she calls an Artist Date. An artist date is an outing that serves the purpose of sparking your creativity.  This date does not have to cost money, but it should add value to helping refresh your mind so that you can create. Below you will find some suggestions for artist dates on a budget. 

Cultural Arts Experiences

Visit your local museum. If you live in the Detroit area, I suggest doing the tour at the Motown Museum or the tour of the And Still We Rise exhibit at the Charles H. Wright Museum of African American History. Did you know that if you live in Wayne, Oakland or Macomb counties that your admission to the Detroit Institute of Arts (DIA) is free?  If you are a Bank of America customer you can visit the Motown Museum, the Henry Ford Museum and other places for FREE on the first weekend of every month.

Regardless of your region, there will always be art. Pay a visit to your local museum or art gallery and just sit back to wait for and watch the mental magic that will occur. 

Movies and Music

Do you remember the dollar show? Well we still have one in Warren, Michigan called Cinemark 16. The price has hiked up to a whopping $1.50, BUT they have specials for children, seniors and the first show of the day.

As for music, I often enjoy my favorite local jazz/funk/neo-soul fusion band for free at various venues around that city. Live music just does something good for the soul.

Nature and Architecture 

No matter where you live, there is usually some beautiful park, body of water or natural scenery that you can enjoy. My park of choice is Belle Isle in Detroit where I walk the perimeter (5 miles around so it’s a great workout too) and enjoy the view of the water and wildlife.  When it’s colder I like to drive along the shore headed East on Jefferson Avenue, passing through several small cities while enjoying the water to my right and big, beautiful homes to my left.

These are just a few suggestions to get you started. This week (and every week hereafter) I challenge you to visit a venue that will ignite your creativity. 

If you haven’t done so already, check out part 1 of this series where we talk about making mental space. Next week we will discuss how to set up your work space and environment in a way that will motivate your muse.

Take Action!

Over the past few days I have read post after post on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram filled with anger, sadness, frustration and despair surrounding the Trayvon Martin case and the Zimmerman verdict. The posts that resonated with me the most were the ones that encouraged or challenged us to take action. So I gave it some thought..."What immediate action could I take?" I realized that there is certainly a need for motivation, inspiration and encouragement during this sad time, so as a result, I have made both of my motivational eBooks "Monday Morning Motivation" and "Momentum" free. Please download them (by clicking on the titles), read them and share them with someone who you know that needs a lift. 

,

Complaining is easy and it often leads to very little if any change or results. This week I encourage you to identify a way that you can take action that will make a difference, no matter how large or small.

MOMENTUM

One of the main areas in our lives that we often need inspiration is in the area of finances. For that reason, please allow me to introduce my NEW Book...

 MOMENTUM: Daily Meditations From the Minds of Millionaires.

MOMENTUM

Daily Meditations From the Minds of Millionaires

by Monica Marie Jones

Synopsis

Financial literacy is not a subject that we learn in school. If financial wisdom is not inherited from or taught by financially free family members or mentors, many often miss out on this very important skill. Even the most talented, creative or academically gifted individuals with multiple college degrees or in professional positions can be completely clueless when it comes to managing money.

The author of this book found herself in this very situation which led her on a personal quest for financial freedom that began with studying those who had achieved it, and resulted in the launch of a career as a successful real estate investor.

Instead of reading the thousands of books that are out there on how to become wealthy, why not read just one? One that synthesizes some of the most inspirational quotes, thoughts and points from several of those books and brilliant minds in one, small, manageable message per day, every day, for one month.

Science says that it takes one month to form a habit so let this book guide you on a momentous journey toward wealth, prosperity, financial literacy and ultimately, financial freedom. Let the MOMENTUM begin!

CLICK HERE to Download  and Join me on the journey to Financial Freedom!

Most Sincerely,

Monica Marie Jones, MSW
Author and Motivator
www.monicamariejones.com
www.literaryloft.com

Don't Let Your Sentences Become Your Sentences

How does it feel to be locked up? Something that you have been saying has you confined in a cell. Which

of your words are holding you back?

Perhaps you say things like "I'll never find a better job." "He or she is the best I can ever get." "I'm too fat." "This just the way it has always been."

Forming these thoughts are the crime. Speaking the words are your sentencing. Everything that follows is you doing time. You are the criminal, the judge and the jury, and now you are living a reality that you have created with your words. This all unfolded clearly for me when I was in my integrity class last week and I heard my friend Michelle say, "Your sentences will become your sentences." What type of time do you want to serve while you are here on this Earth? Do you want to punish yourself with hard time? Or will you speak words that create a life that you love?

This week I encourage you to examine your sentences. What do you want for your life? Are the sentences that you say in alignment with that?

You have the choice between prison or prosperity. Jail or joy. Lock down or love. Confinement or courage. What will you choose?

Freedom lies within your words.

Reside in Right Now

Where are you right now? Literally, you are probably sitting at a desk, looking at your computer or

phone, in your home, office or a coffee shop. Even though that is where your physical body is, is the rest of you there too?

You are probably watching the clock in anticipation of your next break, lunch or the end of the work day. You may be thinking about what happened yesterday, last month or ten years ago. You might be worrying about a bill that is due, an upcoming event, or dreading something that you’ve been putting off and you’re not looking forward to doing. One thing that I can almost guarantee that very few of you are doing right now is being present.

We are often everywhere but here. The top three places that we tend to live are inside of our head, in the past or in the future.Unfortunately, spending the majority of our time in these places leads to discomfort and a lack of enjoyment which makes us miss out on the true experience and adventure that is life. I read the following quote the other day…

“When I am anxious it is because I am living in the future.When I am depressed it is because I am living in the past.” ~ Author Unknown

I know firsthand what anxiety and depression feels like and they are NOT fun feelings. So this week I encourage you to move out of those places and take residence in the present. Look around you. Take in what is there right now. If you are outside, look at the sky, the trees and the beautiful spring colors. Take a deep restorative breath. Have an actual conversation with the people around you instead of the people on Facebook,Twitter, Instagram and in your phone.

We often look to the future for our happiness and blame the past for our lack of it, but the secret is that true joy is only found in the right now.  Move in to this moment and finally find what you’ve been searching for.  Move out of the future and the past so that you can reside in right now.

Can't Is A Curse Word

I used to teach a dance class for kindergarten through fourth grade students and I noticed that when I introduced a new move, exercise or skill that there would be a few students that would say, “I can’t do it,” before they even gave it a try. From that point on I established a new rule. I told them that “Can’t” and “Don’t”, as in “I don’t know how,” were curse words that were banned from our classroom and punishable by 5 push-ups.

I’m not sure how effective the push-up part of the punishment was, but the youth really bought into the idea that “can’t” and “don’t” were indeed curse words that hindered our progress in our class.

If one of the students accidentally uttered the one of those words they would immediately catch themselves then reluctantly drop down and give me five push-ups. If a student did not catch themselves, the other students would quickly jump in and say, “Oooooooohhh, she cursed!” Each time this happened I asked the student’s, “How do you know that you can’t, or that you don’t know how, if you’ve never even given it a try?”

The rest of us hinder ourselves in the same way. We may not always actually utter the words, but there are several things that we don’t believe that we could ever do, even if we’ve never given it a good try. We paralyze ourselves with fear and self-doubt. It didn’t take long for the kids to catch on to the danger of using such self-defeating words and thoughts, so what is your hold up?

This week I challenge you to begin weaning the word “Can’t” out of your vocabulary, especially when it comes to things that you’d actually love to be able to do, but you are too afraid to give it a try.

“Can’t” is a curse word. How do you know you can’t if you haven’t even tried? Watch your mouth...and your mind!

The Safety Net

Are you done trying to save the world yet? If so, good...now maybe the other super heroes in your life will get the opportunity to rescue you.

The past month of my life has been sprinkled with unexpected setbacks and things that forced me to stop all of the busyness and take a seat. This was hard for a person like me who is extremely independent and accustomed to trying to save the world and figure everything out on my own.

When I finally just let go of trying to control things that were beyond my control, something very interesting happened. People began to show up to help me in ways that I'd never imagined. What I learned is that these amazing people that had been in and around my life all along had never gotten the chance to show me how much they were willing and able to be there for me.

Friends and loved ones stepped up above and beyond the call of duty to help me in a time where I needed the support. What I came to learn is that I never would have experienced this love and the magnitude of their devotion had I not given them the chance. I had simply never given them the opportunity.

Sometimes we get so busy, scurrying about, trying to put out fires all by ourselves, that we don't realize that there is an entire fleet of people behind us with buckets full of water just waiting for us to get out of the way.

If you have a hard time believing that the people that love you will have your back in a time of need, trust that God will use them or even strangers to help you get through, if you'd only give Him the opportunity by stepping back, or sitting down and getting out of the way.

Stop trying to figure everything out. You don't have to. This week I challenge you to give someone else the chance to walk in their purpose by supporting you in your time of need.

There are people, places and resources waiting for you to get out of the way. You are not alone. There is a safety net waiting to catch you when you fall.

You Woke Up!

A few years ago I met a dynamic young lady who was hit by a mack truck while riding her bike. She was in a coma for a while, but she survived and if you met her today, you’d never know that she’d been in such a tragic accident. The doctors were surprised that she lived.

She shared that after that experience and the extended coma that she was so grateful to be alive. She said that she wakes up elated every morning and excitedly proclaims, “I woke up!” Something as simple as waking up is major for her because she could have died, and for many days while she was in the coma, she could not wake up.

Waking up is something that we take for granted. We wake up, and instantly begin to worry about everything that needs to be done or everything that is wrong in our lives, but how often do we get up and celebrate the fact that we woke up?

Being grateful for the simple things has a positive effect on our lives. Trust me, I’ve been practicing this since the beginning of the year. I make sure to pay attention to my blessings, no matter how big or small, by keeping a gratitude journal. I write down every single thing that people give me or every kind act that they do for me as well as positive things that happen in my life every day.

This week I encourage you to celebrate something as simple as waking up. You have been given the gift of being here for another day.  What will you do with this day? Will you dwell on the woes and the worries of yesterday or tomorrow? OR will you bask in the glow of this beautiful moment, this fresh new chance that you’ve been given to get it right this time?

Take a deep restorative breath and whisper if you are in the office, or shout if you are alone...”I woke up!!!!”

It's Not About Me

“It’s not about you.”  That statement is the first sentence in one of my favorite books, “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. It is a simple statement yet it is packed with so much power. If we took a moment to realize how many of the things that bother us have nothing to do with us at all, we would be much happier.

Taking things personally is often what upsets us the most. Imagine if we removed ourselves from the equation. Doing so would also subtract quite a bit of stress from our lives. Let’s take a look at some real life examples.

When it comes to relationships if our significant other cheats on us or is unfair in some way, we automatically assume that it was something that we did wrong to make them cheat and that the cheating was something that they did to hurt us. If we flip the way we look at it and say, “They didn’t do that TO me, they did that FOR them.” It gives a whole new spin to a hurtful situation.

Last week I had a professional situation where technical difficulties caused me to start an important webinar extremely late. I could have beaten myself up and held on to heavy feelings of guilt and failure all day. Instead I chose to let it go. I found comfort in the fact that I did my best and that much of what happened was beyond my control. It wasn’t about me.

Those are just two quick examples, but think about any situation in your life that troubles you and say to yourself.  “It’s not about me.”  Relinquish yourself from the blame and responsibility and give yourself a break.  Even if people want to put things off on you, that doesn’t mean that you have to reach out and take it. Throw your hands up or put them behind your back and don’t allow people to force you to carry their heavy baggage.

This week I challenge you to shift your energy and thoughts to positive things and stop taking everything so personally. Give yourself a break. You deserve it.

Weekend Wisdom

Last week was a rough one for me emotionally so I decided that my weekend would be one of healing and being intentional about finding my joy.  As a result several things came to me through meetings, appointments, conversations with friends and watching television that gave me all of the answers that I needed.

Twelve nuggets of wisdom came out of this weekend for me and I want to share them with you in hopes that one or more will speak to something that you are going through and help to keep you inspired throughout this week.  I’ll simply list them and you can interpret or use them as you wish...

Weekend Wisdom

1. I MUST be intentional about strongly centering myself EVERYday so that no one or nothing can knock me off balance.
2. I must see things and people for what and who they are.
3. I need to walk away from things and people that pollute my life.
4. I must learn to control my emotions so they won’t control me.
5. I can conquer any fears through constant gratitude and acts of courage.
6. I must not be afraid to ask for what I want.
7. My life is shaped by the story that I tell myself about myself.
8. I must first clearly identify what it is that I want, then I must create a plan to attain that thing, and I must execute that plan PERSISTENTLY.
9. When you let go of things that aren’t working for you, you make room for better things to come into your life…but as long as you hold on…there is no room.
10. Everyone holds a particular place and serves a particular purpose in your life. When you give people more weight or energy than they are meant to have in your life, it will stress you out…so stop.
11. Problems are the world’s biggest addiction. They give us an excuse to be fearful. Try to figure out what TRULY makes you happy without connecting it to a wound or a negative experience.
12. It’s up to ME to do what I need to do to make ME happy. I can’t depend on anyone else for that or blame them for my lack of happiness.

I must give credit to those who inspired the break through that I had this weekend: Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, Chris Lee, Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Monike Welch, Napoleon Hill, Shamyle Nesfield, and Robert Powell… Thank you all!

Traffic Light Your Life

Today is the day to begin cleaning house.  I mean this literally and figuratively, inside and out. This is the week where we must sit down and reflect on 2011 and think about what we want 2012 to look like. What will we leave behind in 2011? What will we take into 2012? What will we do differently?  What will stay the same?  There is a reflection activity that I often use with my training participants called Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light. Let's use this activity to help us to reflect on last year and plan for the year to come.

The red light represents things that we want to stop. What are some things that you did in 2011 that you don't want to carry into 2012? Maybe it's a bad habit or behavior...or it could be some form of inactivity perhaps when it comes to exercise, or being organized.   For me it's leading with my emotions and negative thinking. I've spent a lot of time really looking at and learning about myself this year and I've come to realize that the way that I react to things and the way that I think about things is truly the only thing that is holding me back from where I really want to be. It's not money, or time, or any of the other excuses that we often use when we talk about why we aren't where we are supposed to be in our lives. So my red light is that I plan to stop making decisions and reactions based on emotion as well as negative thinking and processing, all which ultimately lead to self-sabotage.

The yellow light represents things that you want to continue. It's all about acknowledging something that you have been doing that is working for you.  At the end of 2010 I realized that I was 32 years old with tons of great accomplishments and success, and I made good money, but I had absolutely nothing to show for it. As a result, this year I committed to financial literacy and freedom and it has completely turned my life around.  It has increased my confidence and self-esteem and it has decreased my stress. Therefore my yellow light is that I will continue my journey to financial freedom in which I have intentionally mapped out a plan for 2012 that leads to the road to being an enlightened millionaire.

The green light represents something that you want to start. This year what I want to start is quite simple. I want to start searching and saving for my dream house.  I believe that it is my destiny to be the rock of my family. I want to be the safe and neutral place where everyone can come to celebrate on holidays. So, once I get my dream house, I want to start strong traditions of love and acceptance for years to come.  Family begins with our blood relatives, but it extends to the friends in our lives who have become family as well.  So again, my green light is to start saving and searching for my dream house where I will begin strong traditions that bring peace and joy to those that I love.

What will you Stop (Red Light), Continue (Yellow Light), and Start (Green Light) in 2012? This week I challenge you to sit down and write, draw or visualize these things so that you will have a simple yet solid plan for the New Year.

Happy Holidays!

Order your autographed copy of "Monday Morning Motivation" (The Book) from www.monicamariejones.com

EXCERPT from "Monday Morning Motivation" The Book!

Introduction

A New Day

Recently I was talking to a friend and fellow motivator about Monday mornings at his job. He shared that it was the absolute worst time of the week. This was due to the fact that everyone was always upset and depressed because they didn’t want to be there. As positive as he is, one can’t help but be affected by such negative energy; as it is contagious. Finally, he told me that when my Monday Morning Motivation message pops up in his inbox, it ends up turning his whole day around.

When I decided to do these messages I never could have imagined the impact that they would make. More than one person has shared with me that research shows that suicide occurs more often on Mondays than any other day of the week because of that sense of dread and depression that is often referred to as the “Monday Morning Blues.” Each of these readers, who have never met and live in different parts of the world, all said that they feel like these messages are making an impact and a difference when it comes to those statistics. If a little inspiration on Monday morning lifts one heavy spirit or saves one life, then I feel that I have done my job.

I look at Monday in an entirely different way. I truly believe that our health, wealth and how we feel about ourselves depends heavily upon how we perceive things. For example, when I hear the term Monday Morning Blues, I think of how beautiful a blue sky is or that blue is my favorite color as opposed to the negative connotation that the word blue usually holds. Instead of looking at Monday in a dreadful way, I look at it as a new day and an opportunity for a new beginning… as a gift that we are given each week.

I remember when I was a child and I wanted to ask my mother for something, I can’t recall what it was, but I prefaced it with, “Mom, when it’s 1984 again can I….”  She laughed and let me know that years don’t come back around like months and days do. We may not be able to get the years back, but there will always be another Monday.

Every day is a new day and an opportunity to start all over again, but I feel that Mondays are the most powerful because they are the beginning.

How often do we think or say that we wish we had the opportunity to do something all over again? Monday gives us that. Today I challenge you to think about ways to make the most of Mondays.  I’ll start you off with a few, but the rest is up to you…

Re-Commit To a Life-Style Change

Notice that I didn’t say diet. Focus on fitness in a way that is manageable and realistic enough for you to maintain for life. 

Do Something Differently Than You Did Last Week

Use the weekend as a time to reflect on issues that came up for you throughout the week.  Once you’ve completed that task, use Monday as a day to learn from your mistakes by leaving them behind and moving forward with new goals and action steps.

Begin the Journey of Letting Something Go That Is Not Good For You

Perhaps you want to quit smoking or give up sweets. Monday is a great day to begin and even if you slip up during the week, that’s OK because another Monday is on the way for you to give it another try.

Let’s make each Monday a new day and if you find yourself getting off track as the week progresses, just remember…another Monday is only seven days away.

How to Use This Book

You are more than welcome to read this book all at once, but for maximum impact it is designed to be read one chapter per week for a year. Read each chapter first thing in the morning every Monday when you wake up, before you do anything else, or as soon as you arrive at the office, before you begin your work for the day.

Apply the topic of the message for each week to your life by focusing on the challenge posed or questions asked at the end of each chapter. Continue to apply and review the concepts, ideas and suggestions that you read in the motivational message for the entire week.

After reading the message, or at the end of the week, reflect on your progress. This can be done alone or with a close friend, family member, co-worker or group. Encourage the person that you share your thoughts with to read the book right along with you. (See the Book Club Guide at the end of the book.)

If you decide to reflect alone, record your thoughts, your answers to the questions, or the action steps that you plan to take to meet the challenges in a journal.

Now sit back, relax and enjoy the read!

"Monday Morning Motivation" The Book Coming November 12, 2011!!

Pre-Order NOW for ONLY $8 at http://www.monicamariejones.com

What Matters? Put In The Work To Make It Work

I was watching the movie Couple’s Retreat yesterday and toward the end, a line that actor Vince Vaughn said really stuck with me. He was talking to a friend that hadn’t been taking his marriage seriously when he said, “If it matters, work at it…if not, move on to something else.”

All too often we find ourselves in situations that we complain about, yet we stick around.  We are obviously sticking around for a reason.  Instead of continuing to just exist in such comfortable situations, we must ask ourselves if this job, this person, this project, or this goal really matters to us.  If it does, we must get out of our complacent state and work to make it work.  If we are not going to put in the work we must either stop complaining…or move on.

We are doing no justice to ourselves or the other people involved if we continue to stay around.  It’s kind of like that kid in the classroom, or that person in the office that has a cold. The school and the office management would rather that they just stay at home instead of spreading the germs and making everyone sick.

If you aren’t happy with a situation, you’ll ultimately exude negative energy, which is also contagious. Beyond that, it sucks the life out of people.

Today I challenge you to take inventory of your life and identify an area that you are not giving all that you know that you can.  What can you do to improve the situation?  In reflecting upon this situation, if you find that it really, truly matters to you, then put in the work to make it work, or do everyone a favor and let go and move on.  Moving on is not always a bad thing. It may be just what’s needed to liberate you and those who were affected by your actions or inaction.

My guess is that if it is a relationship with a loved one, as was the case in the movie…it probably does matter to you. So don’t take another second taking that person for granted. As soon as you’re done reading this, let them know how much they mean to you and why, and then begin devising a plan of action to put in the work to make it work.

Happy Labor Day

According to Wikipedia Labor Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September that celebrates the economic and social contributions of workers.

When I hear the word work, it makes me think about faith. Many of us truly believe that we have faith, but faith is a formula. Faith needs work to work. 

When a woman is in labor, she can believe that the baby will just slide and glide out or walk out of her without any effort on her part, but the reality is that she has to push.  She has to put in the work to give life to her little miracle.

What miracle do you want to happen in your life?  What goal or dream do you believe for? Are you putting in the work?  If you don’t want that vision to die, you have to push. You have to put in the work.

Now when I say put in work, I don’t just mean working hard…many of us do that every day. I mean working smart. For all that we do, there is a corresponding process or system that could help everything to go more smoothly and lead to higher quality outcomes.

Lately I’ve been studying business so that I can grow and strengthen the companies that I own.  In my research I read a staggering fact that 99 out of 100 small businesses fail in 10 years. We often have great ideas, great products and the ambition and the drive to start a business, but the reason that it is not successful is because we have not put in the right type of work.  To see our desired outcomes and ensure that they have longevity, we have to put in the work on the front end to create excellent systems.

BusinessDictionary.com defines a system as A set of detailed methods, procedures, and routines established or formulated to carry out a specific activity, perform a duty, or solve a problem.

When we take the time and put in the work to create a system, then our businesses, our goals, our dreams, our children, or whatever we believe for can continue to grow and flourish without us even being there. That is the type of work we want to do.

So celebrate the work you’ve done up to this point today, but tomorrow and beyond I challenge you to put in the right work.

Happy Labor Day!
Monday Morning Motivation (The Book) Coming November 2011!

Increase Your Peace

My Mother and I had a really good conversation the other day. We discussed how as you get older, your life should become more peaceful, and you should have far more grace when it comes to the way in which you handle situations. It may seem that the opposite is the case with the way reality TV glorifies grown folks fighting, but it still rings true that as your age increases, so should your peace and grace.

This year I’ve made an intentional effort to improve the quality of my life. Just last week I was sitting in my loft and I thought to myself, “My life is really peaceful. I am happy.”  There was a time in the past where I wouldn’t have been honestly able to say that.

There were certain things in my life that I had to change, replace, add or take away on my personal journey to peace and grace.  The first step was being brutally honest…with myself.

I know that I do well under pressure, which is fine every now and then, but overall I had to replace procrastination with planning.   My lack of advanced planning often led me to be reactive to situations, so I had to replace that with being proactive.   Being reactive often came with a lot of emotion. I had to replace the emotion with logic. Emotion usually leads to drama, so once I got rid of that, the drama decreased and I became ready to increase my peace. Increased peace leads to grace. When you are peaceful and happy, you handle situations far more gracefully.

I was reading one of my favorite authors, Robert T. Kyosaki, the other day and he said that in order for him to make meaningful and lasting change, certain parts of him had to die. For example, in order for him to be rich…the poor man in him had to die. In order for him to be healthy, the fat and lazy man in him had to die…

What part of us needs to die, so that the new and improved version can be born?

This week I challenge you to think about the habits and behaviors in your life that you can replace, change or eliminate in order to increase your peace and grace. Take it one day at a time…and take it from me, the end result is well worth the work.

Rehab

The word rehabilitation is often given a bad reputation in that it is associated with the process by which someone goes through detox, therapy and behavior modification to help them recover from an addiction to drugs or alcohol. Very rarely do we look at it as the positive thing that it is meant to be. If we looked at the bright side of it we would see that it is a way for people to restore and rebuild their lives.

Let's look at it in terms of real estate. When you buy an investment property it may be distressed or in need of repair. Investing in the rehabilitation that the house needs will substantially increase its value. Even something as simple as painting the walls can make the property worth more than you acquired it for thus making it more marketable and in higher demand once you present it to the world.

I want you to think of yourself or your life as that house. What projects need to be done to increase your value? What investment do you need to make in yourself to increase your worth? Perhaps you need to strengthen or reinforce your foundation by continuing your academic or financial education. Or maybe the improvements are structural in that you need to commit or re-commit to fitness. You might need new windows which represents your vision or the way that you look at things. Are you looking at life from a point of view that is broken or damaged? A new storm door represents security…do you need to work on being more secure in who you are, especially in the face of a storm or adversity.  Whether the changes are large or small they can all increase your net worth in a major way.

Today I challenge you to do your due diligence and conduct a thorough inspection of yourself.  Make a list of the projects that need attention, in order of priority, and begin your process of rehabilitation with the most pressing one.  In the end you will find yourself in a better place with more confidence and self-assurance because you put in the work needed to increase your value and your worth.

Let the rehabilitation begin!

Help IS The Way

 There’s a song that goes, “Hold on, Help is on the way!”  If you have faith, you know that this is a statement that is very true, but what we usually fail to even consider is that help IS THE WAY to speed up the process. 

We often believe that we've exhausted every option when it comes to trying to improve a situation, solve a problem, or reach a goal in our lives. There's one secret key that we always forget about.  That secret key is asking how we can be of assistance to someone else. The saying “Give to Get” doesn't just apply to money. We can give our time, wisdom, experience or advice to those in need.  And keep in mind that when I say “those in need” I don’t just mean the “needy.”  Successful people are often the one’s that need the most help and there is a lot to be learned and gained just from being in their presence.  Let's cut right to the chase and look at a few concrete examples of how helping others has a high return on the investment of your time…

Years ago I worked at an after school program where the teens would often ask about employment opportunities. I'd built a relationship with them, so they trusted me when I told them that there weren't currently any opportunities, but they should volunteer in the meantime. Sure enough, after a few months we were awarded grant money to pay teen staff and since those particular young people had been diligently volunteering, they were first in line to get hired.  How can you apply this example to your life? Are you seeking employment? You’re never too young or too old to be an intern and you can work your way up.  Most major executives started out this way.

Now let's take a look at my writing career. In college I studied elementary education and then social work. I'd never taken a writing class. But I knew that I wanted to write and publish a book...so as soon as I moved back to Detroit I immediately began volunteering for the Motown Writers Network. I basically latched myself on to the founder, Sylvia Hubbard, and volunteered to help her in any way that I could. Now over ten years and five books later, any time she comes across an awesome opportunity for a book signing, speaking engagement, publishing opportunity or whatever, guess who the first person that she calls is? So as if all of the valuable information that I’ve learned by helping her over the years wasn’t reward enough, I also get ongoing perks that continue to help me to grow my business and my brand.  If it wasn't for my giving there is NO way that I'd be as far along as I am today.  Is there an industry that you would like to learn more about?  If you volunteer for some of that industry’s major events you can forgo the registration costs but still learn all of the valuable information while you are helping.

When some people hear the concept of doing something for free it sounds foreign to them or even absurd, but what they fail to realize is that when you give, you benefit as much or more than the person that you are helping.

Think about it like this. Let’s say you charge $30 per hour for consulting and you help someone with what they are dealing with for two hours. Your profit will end at that $60 if you even get the contract. Now if you volunteer to help someone the rewards and benefits you get are often infinite.  It may lead to referrals for more contracts, paid speaking engagements, or free access to things that you might have otherwise had to pay for equaling thousands in profit or money saved.  Your helping for free just keeps on giving in ways that hold far more value than that mere $60. Now I’m not suggesting that you not know your worth and charge accordingly for it, I’m just making sure that you are aware of the powerful impact and benefit of simply offering your free gift of help.

This week I challenge you to reach out and help someone.  Simply ask, “How can I help or support you?”  Pick someone who has successfully achieved some of the goals that you hope to achieve. Think Big! Target the top 5 people that you have been watching and hoping to someday achieve what they have. I’ll be tackling this challenge by trying to meet a millionaire mentor. In the midst of my helping them, I can pick their brain to see how they got to where I want to be.   

After you’ve done all you can, try a new approach. Help IS the way.

TAG! You're It!

Think of the game called Tag that we used to play when we were children. You run for your life from the person that's “It” like getting caught by them is the worst thing in the world...the worst thing that could possibly happen.  We don’t stop to think about what happens when we get caught. The reality is that the outcome is not that bad at all.  When you get caught YOU become “It” and now you have the power.

Now think about how this parallels with our lives. We often run from our problems, namely bill collectors or facing hard choices and decisions that we must make.

Take your power back! Stop running from your fears and problems and turn around and start chasing and pursuing them. I’ve been doing this for the first half of this year and it’s not only been far less painful than I thought it would be, but it’s actually been quite liberating.  Set up payment arrangements, see if there are opportunities for settlements, talk to people about how you feel, make those hard decisions and stick to them... When you face your problems and your fears head on, they are nowhere near as frightening as they seemed when you were running and hiding.

It’s time to take responsibility for the fact that our fears are often our fault. Yes, bill collectors may be a little rude and snippy at times, but hey, they’re just doing their job.  We are the ones that did not keep our word, or pay our bill, or who bought something we knew we really couldn’t afford. 

Fear only has the power that you give it.  Just like a car, it can’t go anywhere or do anything unless you give it the fuel.  So this week I challenge you to stop running, turn around and chase your fear right back.  These days, as I work diligently to repair my credit, the bill collectors are my friends, not my enemies.  I call them regularly to see what type of deals I can work out with them and I even go as far as joking with them while I’m on the phone with them. I keep it pleasant and positive and they often have no other choice but to reciprocate those delightful behaviors.

What are you running from?  Take your power back TODAY….TAG! You’re IT!