Numbers Never Lie

Feelings and emotions might be fuzzy, but numbers are cut and dry. We often let our feelings and emotions lead us. We react to life even when times are great. But what if we took a moment to measure our true well-being by the numbers in our lives? 

Last week, I took my own advice and practiced self-care by slowing down and making space. While there, I finally had the room, time and clarity to make a shocking discovery. My weight was at an all-time high and my credit score was at an all-time low. Based on that data, I realized that it was due time to get back to ME. 

What do your numbers look like? For you, it might not be weight or credit score, but it might be your blood pressure, cholesterol level, blood sugar, hours reading, hours watching television, hours of work versus hours of play, hours of sleep, or time spent with family and your loved ones that matter to you most. One thing that I’ve learned in the business world is that when in doubt, check the numbers, because numbers never lie. Now I’ve come to learn that numbers also matter in your personal life as well, particularly when it comes to health, personal finances and even your relationships. 

This week I challenge you to identify which numbers in your life are out of balance. Once you do that, make the necessary adjustments to get back on track and back to you. Here are a few of the things that I did to give you some ideas… 

• Joined Curves for Women (again) with my Mom as my workout buddy for fitness and quality family time. 

• Today I’m going to buy a bicycle so I can go riding regularly with my best friend.

• I unsubscribed from several of the email lists that were filling up my inbox that I never had time to read. 

• I paid off some small debts that I had no other reason not to pay off other than just being too darn busy to sit down and do it. 

• I went on a grocery shopping spree and purchased enough fresh and healthy items to last me all week.

• I could go on and on, but those are just a few ideas to get you started. 

What will you do? 

Even when you are lying to yourself about the quality of your life, your numbers will tell you the truth.

Click Refresh...

One of my favorite functions on the computer is the refresh button. According to Google, the refresh button allows a static page to update information that has been changed. As Winter has folded into Spring and March gives way to April it's due time to click the refresh button on our lives.

Think about the things that happen when you click the refresh button on the computer...

The current page will reload and the browser will look for an updated version of the page...

New things appear and old things are gone. Sometimes we get in such a stagnant place in our lives, that we only see that static page. We only see what is in front of us as it is, even if it's not the correct or most up to date information. Let's take a long term relationship for example.

You met your mate in high school or college and they were good looking, charming, popular and had all of the potential in the world. Fast forward ten or twenty years. You are still looking at what they were, when in reality, that potential was never realized and they are still living in and on their past fame and acclaim. Do you want to see who you are really with and whether the two of you are on one accord? Click refresh...

Sometimes images don't load until you click the refresh button...

Have you ever gotten to a page that should be full of colorful images, but all you see are empty spaces and red X's? Well, when you click refresh, all of the images become visible and show clearly and vibrantly. Let's liken this to our outlook, perception and mental health. When you are depressed or caught up in that stinking thinking you step outside and you see trash, graffiti, dirt, bums, and litter.

When you change your mindset and mood to a more positive one, you see a beautiful clear blue sky, a bright shining sun, and opportunity to help or minister to a person in need, and a city that despite the odds, remains resilient and has a plethora of hidden gems. Do you want to see these wondrous things? Click Refresh...

Sometimes you can't transmit information properly until you click refresh...

Have you ever been trying to send an email or a tweet and no matter how many times you hit the send button, it just won't go through?

Sometimes when we're under stress or duress it directly affects our ability to communicate effectively. How many times have you been having a bad day, or someone in particular got under your skin, then you go and speak to the next person you encounter in an unkind way?

Sadly, often times it's the people that we love the most that get the negative talk, complaints and argumentative dialogue. We need to dump that old information or situation that upset us, take a deep breath and treat every present and future situation as a new one. Do you want to communicate with kindness and love no matter what? Click refresh...

Do you feel that it's time for a positive change in your life?

Click Refresh!

Be The Change You Want to See

"Be The Change You Want to See in the World"

I'm not sure where I heard that quote, but it has always stuck with me. In relationships, whether they be romantic, platonic, or with family, we have a tendency to try to change people into what or who we think they should be or what we want them to be. I'm sure that we've all learned by now that we cannot change people. What we do have the power to do is to change ourselves.

Think about how you feel when someone tells you what you need to or should be doing. Even when they say it nicely, my first reaction is often to rebel and do the exact opposite of what they are telling me to do. Constructive feedback is one thing, but lecturing someone on how they need to change is totally differently and rarely well received.

As a result I've found that the best way to see change is to be the change that you want to see.

What can you do differently to reduce or eliminate the undesirable behavior that your loved one exhibits without being manipulative?

Here are a few practical examples...

Let's say that your loved one has a smoking habit that you do not care for. Physically removing yourself when they smoke will let them know how you feel about it without you telling them that they need to quit. Telling them that they should stop does not encourage them to do so, but perhaps the absence of your presence may help them to give the idea some thought.

I've noticed that people only do what you allow them to. The cigarette smokers in my life know that I do not like smoke, but since I don't set any clear boundaries, I am still subject to this undesired behavior. But I've noticed that there are certain people that they do not smoke around. This means that the people that they do not smoke around have set some clear boundaries. Know what you want as well as what you will and will not accept and be firm in that.

Perhaps your issue is that you and your loved one argue all of the time. You can be the change that you want to see by making an effort to be more positive. If you find yourself being negative or reacting to their negativity, take a step back. Either counter their negativity with positivity, or simply do not respond or react to their negativity at all.

I watched the film "Fireproof" a few months ago and in the movie, the husband was reading the book, The Love Dare. The love dare is a forty day process based on biblical principles where couples are given a different challenge each day. One day the husband was given the challenge of not being negative. Even if his wife was negative he had to be silent and not reciprocate her actions. Give that a try. A person can only fuss, rant and rave all by themselves for so long before they begin to feel foolish.

These are but a few examples, but I encourage you to examine the stressful situations in your relationships and think about how changing yourself can benefit the union.

**This message was taken from my Relationship Rescue Series which is not just limited to romantic relationships; these are principles that can apply to any relationship whether it be family, friends, or co-workers. Relationships are what keep us alive so it is important to nurture them and put in the time and effort that it takes to make them work.