Traffic Light Your Life

Today is the day to begin cleaning house.  I mean this literally and figuratively, inside and out. This is the week where we must sit down and reflect on 2011 and think about what we want 2012 to look like. What will we leave behind in 2011? What will we take into 2012? What will we do differently?  What will stay the same?  There is a reflection activity that I often use with my training participants called Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light. Let's use this activity to help us to reflect on last year and plan for the year to come.

The red light represents things that we want to stop. What are some things that you did in 2011 that you don't want to carry into 2012? Maybe it's a bad habit or behavior...or it could be some form of inactivity perhaps when it comes to exercise, or being organized.   For me it's leading with my emotions and negative thinking. I've spent a lot of time really looking at and learning about myself this year and I've come to realize that the way that I react to things and the way that I think about things is truly the only thing that is holding me back from where I really want to be. It's not money, or time, or any of the other excuses that we often use when we talk about why we aren't where we are supposed to be in our lives. So my red light is that I plan to stop making decisions and reactions based on emotion as well as negative thinking and processing, all which ultimately lead to self-sabotage.

The yellow light represents things that you want to continue. It's all about acknowledging something that you have been doing that is working for you.  At the end of 2010 I realized that I was 32 years old with tons of great accomplishments and success, and I made good money, but I had absolutely nothing to show for it. As a result, this year I committed to financial literacy and freedom and it has completely turned my life around.  It has increased my confidence and self-esteem and it has decreased my stress. Therefore my yellow light is that I will continue my journey to financial freedom in which I have intentionally mapped out a plan for 2012 that leads to the road to being an enlightened millionaire.

The green light represents something that you want to start. This year what I want to start is quite simple. I want to start searching and saving for my dream house.  I believe that it is my destiny to be the rock of my family. I want to be the safe and neutral place where everyone can come to celebrate on holidays. So, once I get my dream house, I want to start strong traditions of love and acceptance for years to come.  Family begins with our blood relatives, but it extends to the friends in our lives who have become family as well.  So again, my green light is to start saving and searching for my dream house where I will begin strong traditions that bring peace and joy to those that I love.

What will you Stop (Red Light), Continue (Yellow Light), and Start (Green Light) in 2012? This week I challenge you to sit down and write, draw or visualize these things so that you will have a simple yet solid plan for the New Year.

Happy Holidays!

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B Day

On November 1st, 32 years ago, at Cook County Lying -In Hospital in Chicago, at 1:44 am, I was born to write these Monday Morning Motivational messages for you. 

Birthdays are so much more than just a day to celebrate with gifts and loved ones.  Birthdays are our own personal New Year's Day.  It's a day to reflect and refresh.  A time to think about where we've been and where we want to go. Within that context, I've decided to declare today my B Day, with the letter b standing for far more than just the word birthday.  I want to share this day with you by breaking down a few things that I want to focus on for my personal new year as I am sure that you will be able to benefit from focusing on these things too...

"B" stand for...

Balance.

Having an even work-life balance is key for mental and physical health.  You may have heard the term, "Work hard, play hard."  This is one mantra that I make sure to adhere too.  Often times we spend far too much energy on one side of the spectrum or the other.  As a result, other things in our life begin to fall out of balance too.  I remember hearing someone speak about how a very prominent Pastor schedules his vacation and locks the date in before he schedules any speaking engagements or anything else at the beginning of the year. This is something that we should all do.  Don't make play an after thought. Play is an equally important part of the human experience.  Making time to play will rejuvenate you and give you the motivation that you need to give it your all when you get back down to business.

Boldness.

One of my new phrases that I like to say is, "Confidence is the new black."  When you wear it, it's a really good look.  Confidence is not something that you can literally wear externally. You put it on on the inside and it's so powerful that it shines right through you and surrounds you with an amazing aura wherever you go.  That state of confidence then translates into the action and attitude of boldness.  We need to stop walking around here acting like we don't know that we deserve the best in life.  With that being the case, we need to know what it is that we want, then not be afraid to ask for it.  We need to open our mouths, speak up, and be more assertive. Everything we've ever wanted, is already ours, it just needs to be taken.  But to get it, we must be bold.

Boundaries.

When we don't set boundaries, other will set them for us, and I can guarantee that the one's that others set will not be in our best interest.  We need to begin to set healthy boundaries when it comes to work, family and friends.  If we continue to over extend ourselves we will be of no good to anyone and we will be particularly harmful to ourselves. A few years back I wrote a blog in January called, "Happy NO Year" because the best way to begin to set boundaries is by learning to say "No." Even beyond that, we must realize that when we say "No" that we don't have to follow it with an explanation.  Simply saying "No" is enough. 

Today I challenge you to live a balanced life boldly within healthy boundaries.  Happy B Day!!!

A PhD in ME

I have two degrees, two certifications and years of practice in my fields of study...but there has been no better teacher, lesson or education than life. I went straight from Kindergarten through graduate school without any breaks other than summer vacations during grade school and then one summer off during my first year of college. After having been engaged in formal education for so many years, I thought that life without school might feel foreign. I was wrong. I have probably learned more in the last eight years that I have been out of school than I have in the eighteen years that I was in school.

Over those long school years I learned a whole lot about many different things, much of which I have forgotten. It wasn't until I had graduated from graduate school and stepped out into the real world that I came to realize that I didn't know a whole lot about me.

Higher education establishments put together degree programs that have specific classes that you must take in order to graduate in your selected major or area of study. There are certain classes that must be taken before you are allowed to take others, these are called Pre-Requisites. There are also classes that you must take that have nothing to do with your major so that you are well rounded. These are called Basic Studies. The classes that you take that dig deep into your area of study through practice or a more specific focus are called Practicums, Labs, and Methods Courses. If you want to take a course on your own without actually attending a class with your peers, it's called an Independent Study.

School was great, and it was an experience that I wouldn't trade, but I believe that we can have just as awesome an experience by putting together our own personalized degree program...A program that I like to think of as a PhD in ME. PhD, which stands for Doctor of Philosophy, and is also referred to as a Doctorate Degree, is the highest degree that one can earn.

Think about it. You can set up your own personal degree program based on your interests, passion and purpose. The world is your University. Your recommended or required readings and assignments might include books, travel, movies, relationships, conferences, seminars and networking events that you select based upon the things that you enjoy, as well as your plans and your goals. Now let's take the format that Colleges and Universities have created and break down a few of these key concepts so that you can begin to create a program that helps you to get to know yourself and improves the quality of your life.

Pre-Requisites and Basic Studies: These represent those things in your life that you may need to put in place before you are able to comfortably and successfully move to the next level. For example, as I continue to build and grow my business, I have found it necessary to get my personal finances in order first. There are certain basic things in your life that must be done before you move on to higher level things or they will keep holding you back or getting in the way. In many cases, these things teach you or prepare you so that you are equipped to move forward and upward. What do you need to do to lay the foundation for your future?

Practicums and Labs: These are symbolic of the actual hands on experiences where you get out and try things. This may be diving into writing and publishing your own book, or trying your hand at a new talent or skill such as singing or painting. I've found that sometimes the best way to learn is to just get out there and give it a try. We can only learn so much from reading books and listening to lectures. The most powerful type of learning comes when the student is fully engaged in the experience. My literary mentor, Sylvia Hubbard often says, "Just go in there and try to break it." in reference to learning the latest technology. When my brother was younger, he used to take things apart to find out how they worked. Sometimes breaking things and making mistakes is the best way to learn. In what areas do you need more hands on experience?

Independent Study: I often meet many new people and speak to and teach large crowds. I've come to learn that as much as I am surrounded by people, I need to spend as much if not more time alone. Time alone not only gives me the balance that I need, but it's also a time to rest, reflect, recharge and do research. While a huge part of your personal degree program comes from the relationships that you build with others...the relationship that you build with yourself is just as important. How much intentional "Me" time do you set aside?

Assignments: Give yourself homework. This includes listing and setting goals for books that you want to read, people that you want to meet, events that you want to attend, places that you want to travel to, fears that you want to overcome and new things that you want to learn or try. These assignments can come in the form of long term and short term goals, or daily tasks that you check off on your to-do list. What does your self-made syllabus, custom made curriculum consist of?

Professors: Everyone should have at least one mentor. I would even go as far as to recommend that you have a mentor in every area of your life. For example, a spiritual mentor, a mentor in the field that you work in, and a fitness mentor. The choice is yours, but you should always have someone that you can look to, no matter their age, to help guide you to where you want to be. Unlike college professors, these mentors aren't just there to lecture to you. They should model the skills and behaviors that you aspire to, provide opportunities for you, and answer your questions. Who are your mentors?


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CLEARLY I could go on and on with the metaphors...but I'll stop here to give you a chance to let it all marinate in your mind. This week, or month, or season, or year I challenge you create your own program where you first learn YOU and then become the best YOU that you can be. Join me as I obtain my PhD in ME!