I’ve always tried to control my life. I would subconsciously manipulate situations to work in my favor. I didn’t realize that I was doing it until recently. What I found was that while I might have gotten my way for a moment, my master plans often back fired or failed.
For example, when I am a facilitating Youth Work Professional training, I always have one participant that’s eager to get to the point of it all right away. What they don’t understand is that each workshop agenda has been specifically designed to teach them the new concept or skill in such a way that breaks down and then reveals the pieces in manageable chunks that build upon one another. It’s a process often referred to as scaffolding. This method of teaching and learning makes a far more powerful impact than if I had just dumped all of the information on the students at once.
Initially they don’t understand why I do things the way that I do, but in the end, a light bulb goes off and it all makes sense to them. When I come across a student like this, I have to remind them to ‘trust the process.’ My mother always said, “Everything happens for a reason” and I’ve found that this has always rung true.
Things happen along our journey that are meant to teach us, prepare us, strengthen us and humble us. Let’s take relationships for instance. When we meet someone that we are interested in, we try to pour it on thick right up front. We try to make them notice us, like us or even love us. If they don’t, we’ll take another approach like trying to play the best friend role in hopes that they will then see how awesome we are and automatically fall in love with us. (I’m speaking from experience of things that I know I am guilty of.) Situations like this don’t always end in disaster, but here we are again trying to manipulate a situation instead of just relaxing, having faith and trusting that things will happen the way that they are meant to. Perhaps that person was only placed in our lives for a specific reason. That reason may have not been a relationship at all.
The same is the case with our careers, our circumstances…or even when bad things happen. We have to trust the process as opposed to trying to control the situation and manipulate our desired result. In doing this we often miss a very valuable lesson or even a blessing that was supposed to come out of the situation. Think about how much more fulfilling an experience would be if we allowed it to run its natural course. We could truly sit back and savor the benefits knowing that they are ours authentically, not because we manufactured or manipulated the outcome.
Today I challenge you to take a deep restorative breath, sit back, relax, let go and enjoy the ride. Take things one day, one hour, or even one moment at a time. Savor the journey. Allow your life to lead for a change. Surrender to faith and trust the process.