Down Times Are For Good Times

Down times are the best times to prepare for the good times.  There was a time, right after I graduated from my Master’s program at the University of Michigan when I couldn’t seem to find a “real job” to save my life.  For months I searched and sent out my resume only to find that I was either extremely over qualified, or I didn’t have enough years of experience in the field for the types of jobs that I was applying for. I had a few legal side hustles, but I was technically unemployed and forced to sit down for five months for the first time in several years.

I had always been a full time student with a minimum of two jobs and several extra-curricular activities.  I was always on the go. This challenging situation left me with very little income and a lot of extra time on my hands. This was the time when I sat down and wrote my first book.  Now six books later I realize that my moment of hardship was a blessing in disguise, because had I gotten a job right away, I never would have stayed still long enough to accomplish that goal which catapulted my writing career.

Whether your money is low, your heath is poor or whatever the challenging situation is that you currently find yourself in, don’t think of it as a time out, think of it as a time of preparation and incubation. If a lack of money has stopped you from being able to go out as much as you used to, take that time at home to read and research a topic or project that’s been on your mind to explore as a business venture. If you are unemployed, use that time to get your health in check by exercising and paying more attention to what you eat. A break-up from any type of relationship can be used as a time for self-development and reinvention.  

I remember reading a story where an accident left a man paralyzed. He too was a person that was always on the go, so being paralyzed was the only thing that made him sit still long enough to write a script that turned him into a millionaire.

A down time, for whatever reason, is not a bad thing. It is a time for you to map out a master plan for your future success.  If something has slowed you down, I’ll give you five more minutes to wallow in self-pity then I want you to stop that…forever…and use that energy to build, to grow, to create your good times to come.

It's Not About Me

“It’s not about you.”  That statement is the first sentence in one of my favorite books, “The Purpose Driven Life” by Rick Warren. It is a simple statement yet it is packed with so much power. If we took a moment to realize how many of the things that bother us have nothing to do with us at all, we would be much happier.

Taking things personally is often what upsets us the most. Imagine if we removed ourselves from the equation. Doing so would also subtract quite a bit of stress from our lives. Let’s take a look at some real life examples.

When it comes to relationships if our significant other cheats on us or is unfair in some way, we automatically assume that it was something that we did wrong to make them cheat and that the cheating was something that they did to hurt us. If we flip the way we look at it and say, “They didn’t do that TO me, they did that FOR them.” It gives a whole new spin to a hurtful situation.

Last week I had a professional situation where technical difficulties caused me to start an important webinar extremely late. I could have beaten myself up and held on to heavy feelings of guilt and failure all day. Instead I chose to let it go. I found comfort in the fact that I did my best and that much of what happened was beyond my control. It wasn’t about me.

Those are just two quick examples, but think about any situation in your life that troubles you and say to yourself.  “It’s not about me.”  Relinquish yourself from the blame and responsibility and give yourself a break.  Even if people want to put things off on you, that doesn’t mean that you have to reach out and take it. Throw your hands up or put them behind your back and don’t allow people to force you to carry their heavy baggage.

This week I challenge you to shift your energy and thoughts to positive things and stop taking everything so personally. Give yourself a break. You deserve it.

Weekend Wisdom

Last week was a rough one for me emotionally so I decided that my weekend would be one of healing and being intentional about finding my joy.  As a result several things came to me through meetings, appointments, conversations with friends and watching television that gave me all of the answers that I needed.

Twelve nuggets of wisdom came out of this weekend for me and I want to share them with you in hopes that one or more will speak to something that you are going through and help to keep you inspired throughout this week.  I’ll simply list them and you can interpret or use them as you wish...

Weekend Wisdom

1. I MUST be intentional about strongly centering myself EVERYday so that no one or nothing can knock me off balance.
2. I must see things and people for what and who they are.
3. I need to walk away from things and people that pollute my life.
4. I must learn to control my emotions so they won’t control me.
5. I can conquer any fears through constant gratitude and acts of courage.
6. I must not be afraid to ask for what I want.
7. My life is shaped by the story that I tell myself about myself.
8. I must first clearly identify what it is that I want, then I must create a plan to attain that thing, and I must execute that plan PERSISTENTLY.
9. When you let go of things that aren’t working for you, you make room for better things to come into your life…but as long as you hold on…there is no room.
10. Everyone holds a particular place and serves a particular purpose in your life. When you give people more weight or energy than they are meant to have in your life, it will stress you out…so stop.
11. Problems are the world’s biggest addiction. They give us an excuse to be fearful. Try to figure out what TRULY makes you happy without connecting it to a wound or a negative experience.
12. It’s up to ME to do what I need to do to make ME happy. I can’t depend on anyone else for that or blame them for my lack of happiness.

I must give credit to those who inspired the break through that I had this weekend: Tony Robbins, Oprah Winfrey, Chris Lee, Joel Osteen, Joyce Meyer, Monike Welch, Napoleon Hill, Shamyle Nesfield, and Robert Powell… Thank you all!

Traffic Light Your Life

Today is the day to begin cleaning house.  I mean this literally and figuratively, inside and out. This is the week where we must sit down and reflect on 2011 and think about what we want 2012 to look like. What will we leave behind in 2011? What will we take into 2012? What will we do differently?  What will stay the same?  There is a reflection activity that I often use with my training participants called Red Light, Yellow Light, Green Light. Let's use this activity to help us to reflect on last year and plan for the year to come.

The red light represents things that we want to stop. What are some things that you did in 2011 that you don't want to carry into 2012? Maybe it's a bad habit or behavior...or it could be some form of inactivity perhaps when it comes to exercise, or being organized.   For me it's leading with my emotions and negative thinking. I've spent a lot of time really looking at and learning about myself this year and I've come to realize that the way that I react to things and the way that I think about things is truly the only thing that is holding me back from where I really want to be. It's not money, or time, or any of the other excuses that we often use when we talk about why we aren't where we are supposed to be in our lives. So my red light is that I plan to stop making decisions and reactions based on emotion as well as negative thinking and processing, all which ultimately lead to self-sabotage.

The yellow light represents things that you want to continue. It's all about acknowledging something that you have been doing that is working for you.  At the end of 2010 I realized that I was 32 years old with tons of great accomplishments and success, and I made good money, but I had absolutely nothing to show for it. As a result, this year I committed to financial literacy and freedom and it has completely turned my life around.  It has increased my confidence and self-esteem and it has decreased my stress. Therefore my yellow light is that I will continue my journey to financial freedom in which I have intentionally mapped out a plan for 2012 that leads to the road to being an enlightened millionaire.

The green light represents something that you want to start. This year what I want to start is quite simple. I want to start searching and saving for my dream house.  I believe that it is my destiny to be the rock of my family. I want to be the safe and neutral place where everyone can come to celebrate on holidays. So, once I get my dream house, I want to start strong traditions of love and acceptance for years to come.  Family begins with our blood relatives, but it extends to the friends in our lives who have become family as well.  So again, my green light is to start saving and searching for my dream house where I will begin strong traditions that bring peace and joy to those that I love.

What will you Stop (Red Light), Continue (Yellow Light), and Start (Green Light) in 2012? This week I challenge you to sit down and write, draw or visualize these things so that you will have a simple yet solid plan for the New Year.

Happy Holidays!

Order your autographed copy of "Monday Morning Motivation" (The Book) from www.monicamariejones.com

EXCERPT from "Monday Morning Motivation" The Book!

Introduction

A New Day

Recently I was talking to a friend and fellow motivator about Monday mornings at his job. He shared that it was the absolute worst time of the week. This was due to the fact that everyone was always upset and depressed because they didn’t want to be there. As positive as he is, one can’t help but be affected by such negative energy; as it is contagious. Finally, he told me that when my Monday Morning Motivation message pops up in his inbox, it ends up turning his whole day around.

When I decided to do these messages I never could have imagined the impact that they would make. More than one person has shared with me that research shows that suicide occurs more often on Mondays than any other day of the week because of that sense of dread and depression that is often referred to as the “Monday Morning Blues.” Each of these readers, who have never met and live in different parts of the world, all said that they feel like these messages are making an impact and a difference when it comes to those statistics. If a little inspiration on Monday morning lifts one heavy spirit or saves one life, then I feel that I have done my job.

I look at Monday in an entirely different way. I truly believe that our health, wealth and how we feel about ourselves depends heavily upon how we perceive things. For example, when I hear the term Monday Morning Blues, I think of how beautiful a blue sky is or that blue is my favorite color as opposed to the negative connotation that the word blue usually holds. Instead of looking at Monday in a dreadful way, I look at it as a new day and an opportunity for a new beginning… as a gift that we are given each week.

I remember when I was a child and I wanted to ask my mother for something, I can’t recall what it was, but I prefaced it with, “Mom, when it’s 1984 again can I….”  She laughed and let me know that years don’t come back around like months and days do. We may not be able to get the years back, but there will always be another Monday.

Every day is a new day and an opportunity to start all over again, but I feel that Mondays are the most powerful because they are the beginning.

How often do we think or say that we wish we had the opportunity to do something all over again? Monday gives us that. Today I challenge you to think about ways to make the most of Mondays.  I’ll start you off with a few, but the rest is up to you…

Re-Commit To a Life-Style Change

Notice that I didn’t say diet. Focus on fitness in a way that is manageable and realistic enough for you to maintain for life. 

Do Something Differently Than You Did Last Week

Use the weekend as a time to reflect on issues that came up for you throughout the week.  Once you’ve completed that task, use Monday as a day to learn from your mistakes by leaving them behind and moving forward with new goals and action steps.

Begin the Journey of Letting Something Go That Is Not Good For You

Perhaps you want to quit smoking or give up sweets. Monday is a great day to begin and even if you slip up during the week, that’s OK because another Monday is on the way for you to give it another try.

Let’s make each Monday a new day and if you find yourself getting off track as the week progresses, just remember…another Monday is only seven days away.

How to Use This Book

You are more than welcome to read this book all at once, but for maximum impact it is designed to be read one chapter per week for a year. Read each chapter first thing in the morning every Monday when you wake up, before you do anything else, or as soon as you arrive at the office, before you begin your work for the day.

Apply the topic of the message for each week to your life by focusing on the challenge posed or questions asked at the end of each chapter. Continue to apply and review the concepts, ideas and suggestions that you read in the motivational message for the entire week.

After reading the message, or at the end of the week, reflect on your progress. This can be done alone or with a close friend, family member, co-worker or group. Encourage the person that you share your thoughts with to read the book right along with you. (See the Book Club Guide at the end of the book.)

If you decide to reflect alone, record your thoughts, your answers to the questions, or the action steps that you plan to take to meet the challenges in a journal.

Now sit back, relax and enjoy the read!

"Monday Morning Motivation" The Book Coming November 12, 2011!!

Pre-Order NOW for ONLY $8 at http://www.monicamariejones.com

What Matters? Put In The Work To Make It Work

I was watching the movie Couple’s Retreat yesterday and toward the end, a line that actor Vince Vaughn said really stuck with me. He was talking to a friend that hadn’t been taking his marriage seriously when he said, “If it matters, work at it…if not, move on to something else.”

All too often we find ourselves in situations that we complain about, yet we stick around.  We are obviously sticking around for a reason.  Instead of continuing to just exist in such comfortable situations, we must ask ourselves if this job, this person, this project, or this goal really matters to us.  If it does, we must get out of our complacent state and work to make it work.  If we are not going to put in the work we must either stop complaining…or move on.

We are doing no justice to ourselves or the other people involved if we continue to stay around.  It’s kind of like that kid in the classroom, or that person in the office that has a cold. The school and the office management would rather that they just stay at home instead of spreading the germs and making everyone sick.

If you aren’t happy with a situation, you’ll ultimately exude negative energy, which is also contagious. Beyond that, it sucks the life out of people.

Today I challenge you to take inventory of your life and identify an area that you are not giving all that you know that you can.  What can you do to improve the situation?  In reflecting upon this situation, if you find that it really, truly matters to you, then put in the work to make it work, or do everyone a favor and let go and move on.  Moving on is not always a bad thing. It may be just what’s needed to liberate you and those who were affected by your actions or inaction.

My guess is that if it is a relationship with a loved one, as was the case in the movie…it probably does matter to you. So don’t take another second taking that person for granted. As soon as you’re done reading this, let them know how much they mean to you and why, and then begin devising a plan of action to put in the work to make it work.

Happy Labor Day

According to Wikipedia Labor Day is a United States federal holiday observed on the first Monday in September that celebrates the economic and social contributions of workers.

When I hear the word work, it makes me think about faith. Many of us truly believe that we have faith, but faith is a formula. Faith needs work to work. 

When a woman is in labor, she can believe that the baby will just slide and glide out or walk out of her without any effort on her part, but the reality is that she has to push.  She has to put in the work to give life to her little miracle.

What miracle do you want to happen in your life?  What goal or dream do you believe for? Are you putting in the work?  If you don’t want that vision to die, you have to push. You have to put in the work.

Now when I say put in work, I don’t just mean working hard…many of us do that every day. I mean working smart. For all that we do, there is a corresponding process or system that could help everything to go more smoothly and lead to higher quality outcomes.

Lately I’ve been studying business so that I can grow and strengthen the companies that I own.  In my research I read a staggering fact that 99 out of 100 small businesses fail in 10 years. We often have great ideas, great products and the ambition and the drive to start a business, but the reason that it is not successful is because we have not put in the right type of work.  To see our desired outcomes and ensure that they have longevity, we have to put in the work on the front end to create excellent systems.

BusinessDictionary.com defines a system as A set of detailed methods, procedures, and routines established or formulated to carry out a specific activity, perform a duty, or solve a problem.

When we take the time and put in the work to create a system, then our businesses, our goals, our dreams, our children, or whatever we believe for can continue to grow and flourish without us even being there. That is the type of work we want to do.

So celebrate the work you’ve done up to this point today, but tomorrow and beyond I challenge you to put in the right work.

Happy Labor Day!
Monday Morning Motivation (The Book) Coming November 2011!