Simplify Your Life to Live

“Why are you ALWAYS in such a rush?”  These words stopped me in my tracks and made me ask myself the same question. My seven year old nephew said this to me on Friday when I breezed back into town after being gone for a week and only stopped by momentarily to give him a hug and a kiss on the cheek.  He had other plans. He wanted me to sit and play with him and his super hero action figures. So instead of rushing out of the door to run errands, keep appointments, and squeeze in everything that I could before leaving town again on Sunday…I sat down with him and just played.

It was interesting that he said this to me because the previous week I facilitated a training where I asked the participants to talk about their goals and two of them said that their goal was to simplify their life.  This stood out to me because usually people have complex personal or professional goals that include losing weight, starting a business, obtaining a degree or writing a book.  I realized that for me, simplifying my life might have been just as challenging as any of those other goals.

Sometimes, when we are good at something, it is our natural tendency to feel like that is what we are supposed to be doing and we pour all of our energy into it.  I’ve learned the hard way that just because you excel at something, it doesn’t mean that you are supposed to be doing that thing. 

There was a point in my life, where I gave time to everything that I was good at…acting, dancing, modeling, community work and youth work.  I figured that since all of the things that I was engaged in were positive, then there was no problem with me doing them all. What I came to realize was that stress comes in all forms, not just from negative things or when things are not going your way.  You can just as easily become stressed out from doing a whole lot of positive things. 

There have been several instances where I took something that I loved, and gave it so much of myself, that I ended up turning myself off to it altogether. I’ll give you an example.  I love to dance.  Instead of just dancing like no one was watching because it brings me joy, I ended up dancing professionally, and then teaching dance.  My joy became work, and I ended up retiring from it.  Being a dance teacher was great, but that’s not what I really wanted. I simply wanted o dance.  Even though I may have exposed my students to new and wonderful experiences, I ruined it for myself.

I realized that this is a pattern for me.  I take something that I love, and end up taking a road that I may not have been meant to take.  The problem with this is that when we overdo anything, we end up burning ourselves out. It’s just like food, if you cook it too long, or at too high of a temperature, it burns.

Essentially, it’s all about finding a balance. It’s great to give your all to what you believe in, but don’t spread yourself too thin.  I’ve always had a desire in my heart to change the world, so I tend to try to do fifty million different things to accomplish that goal.  Eventually I find myself tired and overwhelmed.  If I’m feeling that way, what good am I to the people that I hope to encourage?

My point?  Keep it simple.  At the end of the day, that’s all that matters anyway…the simple things.  If you find yourself feeling stressed and overwhelmed more than you find yourself at peace, it may be time to scale back your life.  Someone said, “Maybe you need to clear some things off of your plate.” My response was, “Maybe I need to get a smaller plate!”. 

This week I challenge you to identify one to three things that you can eliminate from your schedule that will help to simplify your life, thus reducing your stress and anxiety.  It may also be a matter of adding something to your schedule, like budgeting your money to make things flow more smoothly for you in the long run, or beginning a workout, such as cardio kickboxing, that will help you to reduce stress.

Once you’ve done this, simply sit back and savor the simple things that truly matter. Play with your children before you look up one day and realize that they are all grown up. Watch the sun rise or set. Color in a coloring book. Watch a silly movie. Read a good book. Talk to a friend on the phone about nothing of importance. Or do what seems to be the most challenging thing of all for most of us busy over achievers…simply sit down.  These are the things that make life worth living. Simplify your life and begin to live.

Get Out of Your Own Way

Take a moment to envision where you want to be in life.  Where do you want to live?  What do you want to look like? How do you want to feel emotionally?  What kind of car do you want to drive? How much money do you want to make?  What do you want the state of your business to be? What do you want for your family?

Now, think about the thing or things that are holding you back from where we want to be.  If we are completely honest with ourselves we will admit that our largest obstacle is often the person that we look at in the mirror every day.

There are several ways that we get in our own way.  The most obvious is not believing in our own abilities thus allowing fear, doubt, negative self-talk and procrastination dictate our futures.  If we do that, we know it…but I want to call out some of the other hidden and sometimes subconscious things that we do to sabotage ourselves.

1.    Burning the Candle at Both Ends and In the Middle!

When you have a vision or a goal that you’ve set for yourself, it’s a natural tendency for those that are driven to want to grind and give it all we’ve got.  The problem is that sometimes we go so far as to give it what we don’t have as well. 

I remember the first and only time that I ever ran out of gas in my car.  I was ripping and running all day, and I actually had the money.  I was just so busy pushing my agenda to the limit that I never set aside the few moments that it would take to refuel.  So as a result, there I was, in the middle of the freeway, at midnight, out of gas.  So now, not only was I held back, I was brought to a screeching halt.  I went from doing too much to not being able to do anything at all.

There are two things to keep in mind if this sounds like you.  First of all, you won’t be good to anyone or anything if you are burnt out mentally, physically and emotionally.  That purpose or calling that has been placed on your life will be placed on hold and you will be placed on a stretcher or a hospital bed.  And finally….challenge God and allow him the opportunity to show you all that He can do for you.   Trust that He’s right there next to you on the battle field of life.  Faith takes work, but even God rested.

2.    Spending Time Talking About What You Can’t Do and Doing What You Don’t Want to Do.

I went to see author, ReShonda Tate Billingsley speak the other day, and one of the many things that she said that stood out to me was, “Every minute spent talking about what you can’t do is a minute that could be spent doing it.” This rings so true! We spend SO much time talking about what we can’t do and why we can’t do it.  Those minutes, hours, days and weeks could be spent taking action on the plan that is burning inside of us. 

On the same note, we often spend just as much time doing things that we know we don’t want to do.  Perhaps it’s that job that you hate and you know that deep down in your heart, if you step out on faith and leave it, God will have something even greater waiting for you.  Maybe it’s all of those things that you do to help others reach their goals and realize their dreams…which is great…but what about you?

Start thinking of your moments as money in a bank account that will disappear if you don’t spend it or invest it. Think of every hour as one million dollars.  You get the same amount each day, Twenty-four million dollars, and how you use it is up to you.   Will you use it wisely?  Will you waste it?  Or will you go too hard with it and fall into burning that candle at both ends and in the middle?

There are several other factors that contribute to you getting in your own way of that future that you want including the company that you keep, your willingness to give, how you manage what you are given and so on.  I just wanted to give you the two above to ponder and digest.  If they hit home for you take a step or two TODAY to make shift in a different direction.  Take a path that is clear of obstacles.  Get out of your own way!