The Coat

Coats are designed with the purpose of protecting us from the elements of wind, rain and snow. They also serve the function of keeping us warm. Our coats may get wet, or even dirty, but those things that come against them never destroy them or cause them to disintegrate. Our coats brave each element and continue to serve their purpose.

While our coats serve a powerful purpose, we can't expect them to do all of the work. There are some things that we must add to supplement the work that they do. We must add gloves, hats, scarves, boots, and of course we most certainly should be wearing warm clothing underneath.

Think of your coat as your faith. The elements are the daily things that come against you. The rain is financial hardship, the whipping wind is stress, the falling snow is frustration, the debilitating cold is disappointment. Our coats or our faith will protect us from most of those things, most of the time, but if we do not add those supplements mentioned above, those elements will find their way in to affect us.

Those supplements represent the work that must go along with our faith. The gloves represent the helping hands that we must use to give to others. The hat represents the wisdom and knowledge we must seek and the research and study that we must do. The boots represent the foundation that our feet must be firmly planted in and the ground upon which we must stand tall and strong, not allowing any of the elements to knock us down. The scarf is a representation of protection and preservation of the voice which we must use to speak out against injustice, to inspire and encourage others and to share our testimonies and the good news. Our clothing gives us the opportunity to add a touch of style to all that we do because we must live and lead by example, modeling that true faith, supported by work is real and when coupled together, they produce amazing results.

So put on your clothes, hat, boots, gloves, scarf and coat and go out to take on the world knowing that no matter what you come up against, or what comes at you, your faith and works will protect you.

Why Must We Go Away to Find Ourselves?

"It seems when we get to a place where no one knows us, we become most ourselves. We try new things, make new friends..."

The phrase quoted above is the beginning of a commercial about Michigan tourism that captures my attention every time I see it. Why is it that it takes for us to go somewhere that no one knows us, for us to truly become ourselves? Think about it. When we go out of town we let our hair down and do things that we would never dare to try at home. Sometimes we do things that we may regret, but for the most part we engage in enriching experiences that we would never afford ourselves at home.

If we practiced such behavior in our everyday lives, or on a more regular basis, imagine how much more exciting and fulfilling life could be. As I look back over my life, I realize that most of the times that I took risks and tried new things that I've always wanted to do, I was somewhere other than here. I was in Toronto when I got my first tattoo. I was in St. Maarten when I tried snorkeling for the first time. It took me traveling all the way to Belize to wear my hair naturally all of the time without worrying about what people thought. I ventured to Japan without knowing the language. I've tried escargot in France. I've climbed the Sleeping Bear Sand Dunes near Traverse City, Michigan. While in Mexico, I walked to my desired destinations instead of driving or catching a cab. I dug for diamonds at the Crater of Diamonds State Park in Murfreesboro, Arkansas.

So then why is it that when I am at home, I live so safely, and comfortably in my own little bubble when in all actuality, this city has so much to offer?

So what is the answer? Do we get away more, or do we make the most of life right where we are?

I saw the movie, "Yes Man" with Jim Carrey while on a flight, and while I went in only expecting to be amused, to my surprise I ended up quite inspired. The character that he played lived life in such a closed off way. When he finally began to say yes to some of the simple things in life, it opened up a whole new world for him. He not only began to try new and exciting things, but he also met new and interesting people, including the love of his life.

It reminds me of a quote that I heard in college that I will never forget...

"Life without risk is risky."

When was the last time you tried something new?

When was the last time you made a friend outside of Facebook or some other online social networking avenue?

Why does it take a completely new environment for us to unleash that which is within us?

As winter slowly folds into spring I challenge you to make the best of what you have and where you are right now. Go for a walk around your neighborhood. Visit a historical landmark in your city. I've lived in Detroit for most of my life and I've never been to Hitsville USA (The Motown Historical Museum) so that is where my journey will begin. I will no longer wait until my next trip to explore me. I'll start right here at home because home is a huge part of who we are, so I can't think of any better place to begin.

The Overflow

This past weekend I went to Chicago for a Girl's Weekend Getaway with some dear friends that I've been close with since high school. It was one of those rare occasions where I traveled for pleasure and not business (even though you KNOW I was getting my network on and selling books.). I'm proud to say that even though it was a pleasure trip...I still got up early on Sunday morning and made my way to church. I'm glad that I did, because something that the Pastor said inspired this morning's message. He said,

"Everything in the cup, filled to the brim, belongs to me. I can only give you the overflow."

Let me elaborate....

Are you one of those people that just HAS to have their morning coffee? Do you know someone who is like that? If so, you know that religious coffee drinkers simply must have their coffee before they are able to function, be productive, and in many cases even speak.

McDonald's has a commercial out where a man crosses the paths of several people who try to greet him, but he cuts them all off by saying, "I haven't had my morning coffee."

So I want you to imagine a cup filled to the brim. The liquid represents everything that belongs to you...everything you need. So, if you need every drop that's in that cup to thrive and survive...you can only give the overflow.

If you gave all of your co-workers and friends a sip, and then all of your friends and family members a gulp...you'd have little or nothing left for yourself.

With just a few meager drops, or an empty cup, you won't be able to thoroughly handle your business spiritually, mentally, emotionally, financially or otherwise. So fill your cup first in order to be most effective and efficient and only give others the overflow.

Get Up!

Imagine a child playing outside on a playground. They take risks, try new things, laugh and shout. In the midst of it all, sometimes they fall. Do they just lie down, cry and complain...or do they get back up again. It reminds me of a line from one of my favorite songs.

We fall down, but we get up....because a saint is just a sinner who fell down...then got up.

Think of some of the most successful people that you know. Most, if not all of them has experienced a major setback in their life or career at one point or another. Imagine how the world would be different if they had not gotten back up again. Let's look at some examples...

Oprah Winfrey was knocked down by the pain of child molestation and incest.

Early in his career Sean Combs coordinated an event where people died.

Jennifer Hudson lost her Mother, brother and nephew to senseless violence.

Barack Obama's father was not present when he was growing up.

Jesus was crucified.

I'm not trying to depress you, and I'm sure that you can think of countless other examples, but my point is that if some of these influential people had chosen to stay down when they got knocked down, how different would the world be?

When we give in to pain, disappointment, financial hardship, abuse and the like...we are lying down. These things are all painful, but they have not killed us. So use them as a form of exercise. They exercise our heart, our minds and our will and only make us stronger.

So just like Oprah and Obama, get on up and turn your blunders into blessings. Use what you've come through as your testimony to help others who are going through the same thing.

If those prominent people don't do it for you, look to a child. They fall, and they may cry, but they get up, brush off the dirt and get right back up again to enjoy life to the fullest.

What has knocked you down? Don't just lay there...get up!

Are You Open AND READY to Receive?

One of my favorite affirmations that I write and repeat frequently is, "I am now open to receive." Recently I had to ask myself, "You may be open, but are you really ready?" I say this because we constantly hope and wish and dream and pray and want for things like a good mate, more money, a new home or car...but when we actually get those things will we be truly ready? Will we know what to do with those things? The reality is that we are so focused on what we have presently, or what we don't have, that when we get what we claimed that we truly wanted we often lose, abuse or reject it.

I was listening to an airing of the Oprah Show on Oprah Radio recently where they highlighted a very interesting social experiment. A homeless man was given a large lump sum of money, as well as opportunities for education, employment and mental health treatment. To make a long story short, he did not take the offers that would help him sustain and maintain his well being, but he did take the money. In no time he blew all of the money and was homeless again.

As we get on our knees and pray, or day dream, or create vision boards for what it is that we truly believe that we want or need, we must also prepare to receive it. If it is money that we desire, we must increase our financial literacy so that we will know how to manage it when we get it. If it is love that we want we must change our existing framework and learn what real and healthy love looks like.

Last week I talked about visualizing our dreams in order for them to be realized. A part of the vision must also be the wisdom, discipline, training and commitment that comes along with the things that we long for.

So this week, I encourage you to journal about, talk about, pray about, or meditate about all of the necessary steps, supplements, and mindsets that go along with what you are asking for. Be prepared because if you ask and believe, you will most certainly receive...so GET READY!

Visualize to Realize

I was on my way to a training a few weeks ago, on a dark morning when the weather was terrible and I knew it would only get worse the closer I got to my destination, which was three hours away. My anxiety began the night before and each moment that I drove it increased. I could not see myself arriving to my destination safely. Since I could not visualize myself in the place that I was on my way to, fear and anxiety took over to the point where it began to affect me physically. I pulled off of the freeway twice before I finally just decided to turn around and go home.

This is directly related to the goals and resolutions that you have set for the New Year. If you cannot see yourself starting and running that business, or as a more slim and healthy person, you will not get there. This is the reason that people create vision boards. Visual images feed the mind and make things real. You have to be able to mentally or even physically see where you want to be. So take some time each day to just day dream. See yourself in that new house or car. Envision yourself on that beach in that tropical place that you've always wanted to visit.

If mental pictures aren't enough to motivate you, create a physical picture with cut outs from a magazine on a poster board.

In order for your dreams to be realized, they must first be visualized. See where you want to be and you'll arrive at your destination eventually.

Is Your Bucket Full?

Some of the most profound advice and wisdom that I have ever received on life and living has come from children.

The other day my five old nephew and his grandmother (my Mom) got into a heated debate. He wanted to watch what he wanted to watch on the nice new TV that my brother and I got her for her birthday while jumping on her bed. She's usually quite patient with his antics because he's just so darn cute, but this time she just couldn't take it anymore. Needless to say, the disagreement ended with him in tears when he caught her off guard by saying,

"Grandma, you tipped my bucket."

"What?" my mother said, not familiar with the term that he had used.

"I said you tipped my bucket." He repeated.

"Well, what does that mean?" She asked.

"When you make someone angry or upset, you tip their bucket, so you say you're sorry to fill their bucket back up."

Needless to say, she was sold on the idea, so they hugged and made up after which he said,

"Thank you Grandma, now my bucket is full."

Wow! If only adults could make it that simple. We argue, hold grudges, talk behind each others backs and do everything else short of addressing the issues at hand directly. In his own simple way my nephew introduced my mother to a method to use to reframe conflict. They discussed how each of their behaviors affected the other person, they acknowledged one another's feelings, and they came up with a plan together for moving forward.

When I called for an interview he had no comment, so I asked him to call me back the next day and with reluctance and a little coercion from my mother he did just that. The few words that he did have for me left a major impact...

"Aunt Munka (His pronunciation of my name), We want to be bucket fillers."

Enough said.